i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
