I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
The air taste purple.
Randomize
