me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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