It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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