Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
she smelled like a LAN party
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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