Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
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