It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
