I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
