let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I think a kid would responsible me up
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
