Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
