oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
