Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
