guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Randomize
