New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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