kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
