I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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