just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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