I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
