Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
this just has baby written all over it
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
