My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
