Rock
Scissors
Fuck
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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