im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
