I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
