Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
