A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
