I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
