U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
