I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
