She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
this hospital has no fireball
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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