so that wasnt chicken after all
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
