By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
why is half of my head shaved?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize