..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
