No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
operation have a gay friend backfired
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
