Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
