I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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