My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
