It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
