Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
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