So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Randomize
