I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
3 2 1 whiskey
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
