He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
