If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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