what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
