Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
My ATM looks so different sober.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
