Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
