maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
He's on the porch naked. Help.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
