I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
We named our party play list daddy issues
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
