I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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