That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
