Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
