I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
