The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
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