It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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